Identity Gap

There is a real you, and then there’s the you that others see. In the best case, these two identities align very closely, if not perfectly.

But that is often not the case. Sometimes there is a rift: others may perceive you in some way, but deep down you know it’s not true. You may fool others, but you cannot fool yourself. And the larger this rift, the more you suffer internally.

When you wonder, “who am I?”, look to your actions for the answer. Your identity is in your actions. To be really precise, look to your actions when noone’s watching. That will tell you everything you need to know. Whether you’re hardworking, virtuous, optimistic, respectful, or in general, whether you are who you think you are.

As for the version of you that others see, I think we put too much weight on that. You could put up a show when others are around, and convince everyone that your life is great. But is it really? They might not be able to tell the difference. But you will.