Easy Relationships

Maybe one reason it’s so tempting to conform to mainstream norms is that it makes relationships so much easier. You get to have a default mode for what kinds of careers to pursue, what music to listen to, what food to eat, what clothes to wear, and even what values to hold. Then it’s much more likely that if you meet someone else that fits the same default mold, you and them will just click. The scary part of departing from this norm is that you can no longer rely on that “match” when forming new relationships. Ironically, I have found that the lack of this immediate click leads to deeper relationships. When you really get to know a person and connect on something deeper than, say, a shared music taste, you can actually see their unique perspective on life and maybe even learn from it. Although this approach is much more difficult, it creates a positive feedback loop. The more you meet people that are “different” from you, the more empowered you feel to challenge your existing perspective, which in turn helps you grow and form richer relationships with even more people.