Self-Blame and Ego

Historically, my reaction to adverse events in my life is thinking that they must have somehow been my fault. But now I think this is just another manifestation of my ego. Why is it necessarily my fault that the bad thing happened? That mindset implies that I could have acted in a different way in order to avoid the negative outcome. Obviously, this is true sometimes. If my friend stops talking to me and I had also said something hurtful to them the day before, most likely that distancing is a result of my actions. But if my friend just ghosts me out of the blue, there is no reason to believe that I had any control in their decision. Personally I catch myself thinking “what could I have done so that they wouldn’t have ghosted me” and the answer is either a) nothing or b) something, but I’ll never know what. The tricky thing is, in this situation I’m feeling bad for myself, so I wouldn’t stop to think that maybe I’m being egotistical. But really this is me trying to exercise more control over what happens to me, which is a symptom of thinking I have (or deserve to have) that control in the first place.